Only slightly Blorft with a side of Kale

It's not yet been a year. I keep saying it has been, because it freaking feels like it, but it has been nine months. The back and forth. The aches and pains. The darkness. It's been a rough almost year. But holy shit, it's almost been a year and look at you, you are still standing. Congratulations to you, Loreli. You are a bad ass if only for the fact that you are still standing and you still have both eyebrows. And that whole still having both eyebrows thing... well let's take that as a win.

The bad news is. I still don't eat enough and when I do it's the wrong stuff. I am highly stressed. I am angry. I am not the woman I was two years ago. Where she was loving and alkaline, I am acidic. My juicer is dusty and my coffee maker needs a vacation. I need more green vegetables and more burpees and maybe, just maybe... one day.... a date. Shit. I need a date with a side of kale.
This is a brave new world.

So nine months into the break up of the first 12 years of my adult life and it is time to stop being lame. I have cried enough to fill an HBO mini series and eaten enough doughnuts to make me a traitor to my trade. It's time to break up with Dunkin' and do what I do best: sing (badly), dance (with reckless abandon) and detox. A friend asked me this weekend, "So what have you been doing for fun?" And when I did not have a ready answer, I knew we had a problem.  It's time, as my therapist so eloquently put it, to put my big girl pants on. Fingers crossed they still fit.

I want to be a better version of myself. I want to feel centered. I long to get to the end of this journey I have been on for the last nine months. I want to like myself again. I don't need anyone else to be proud of me... I just want to be proud of myself. I use to really like me. It's time to like me again. It's time to detox emotionally and physically. It's time to get my shit together. Completely together. You have cried and cursed and fought. Now it's time to drink juices of beet and lemon and breathe deep and laugh loud. It's time to come back.

Tomorrow I start a 15 day detox. I will be using Supplement RX products (http://www.supplementrx.com/index.php/shop-now/detoxification) as well as my usual detox go to: juices, smoothies and salads. The goal is always to go without coffee and sugar and wine. We will see how it goes. I have learned one very specific thing recently, and that is that life will spin you on your head. So find balance where ever you can and don't take it too seriously.  But care for yourself through it all. And so, I will begin to regularly study yoga again and complete at least two workouts a week in the gym specifically designed to make other patrons nervous and uncomfortable. I will commit to healthy sleep patterns. I won't obsess over broken promises or loves lost.  I will start my day dancing. I will smile more and freak out less. I will stop listening to sappy music (Ok, I will stop listening to only sappy music). I will meditate with really specific mantras filled with words like awesome, epic and every so often... sassy pants. And I will only be "Blorft" when it is absolutely impossible not to be:

“I was a little excited but mostly blorft. "Blorft" is an adjective I just made up that means 'Completely overwhelmed but proceeding as if everything is fine and reacting to the stress with the torpor of a possum.' I have been blorft every day for the past seven years.” 
― Tina Fey, Bossypants

Oh. And I will stop cursing. It's not lady like.