A. Ones we chose to surround ourselves with
and
B. Everyone else.
Sometimes, what we don't realize is that the people in category B have just as much influence and effect on us as in category A. And more often than not, they have even more.
Social networking has made every last 7 billion of us accessible. Where as ten years ago your neighbor's sister's cousin's pharmacist who would have never EVER in a million years known what you looked like NORMALLY, can now see you tagged in so and so's photos from the community holiday party. You know the photo... we all do... and secretly, we kinda love it. And we sorta made a video montage with it and posted it to YouTube. And it's pretty popular... in your office.
So what I am getting at is this... we are 78% sure on a bad day that the people we chose to surround ourselves with are going to stick by us no matter what. And we are 99% sure that people we have never met are judging us this instant over the Internet. There are even adolescent girls actively seeking out to be rated, that's how CRAZYTOWN this world is becoming. Seriously, go back 15 years and ask Lori if she would ever be up for asking complete strangers to rate how pretty or ugly she was and she would probably laugh in your face, pull up the collar on her zombie skin-hued old man flannel shirt (SO pretty) and go back to listening to Hole or the Cranberries or Alanis Morrisette or some other female singer with weird hair on her Walkman. (by the way... this computer does not even recognize Walkman as a real word) But now, post a non approved photo of me on Facebook and I cringe... "What if I look like a crazy Sasquatch lady?!" -- just to be reminded a few moments into reviewing the photo that crazy Sasquatch lady was totally the look I was going for in that moment.
I then relax and move on with my day.
But many of us don't.
We are constantly wondering what the neighbor's sister's cousin's pharmacist thinks of that photo.
We are constantly reminded that everyone is watching you.
I am surprised more of us aren't swan diving into a vat of botox.
So how do we navigate through this modern world, because most of us are not going to swear off Facebook. And truth be told whether on purpose or not Sasquatch photos may surface from time to time.
And honestly, I can't tell you we are all just going to have to look deep inside ourselves and find the beauty with in and say "Go sit on a rock!" to all those haters... because... there will be days when our insecurities get the upper hand on us.
But I can say this.
We need to start remembering what it feels like to be one person. We need to reconnect with idea that we exist first and foremost singularly. That if social media came a tumbling down we would stand alone. We have one voice, one heart, one mind and one conscience. We are one person. We need to explore the wants and needs of that one person. I am not endorsing hermit-tude... humans need community and crave acceptance, however, we have become so busy trying to please loved ones and strangers alike we forget to connect with ourselves. So how to we do this? We make a commitment to unplugging regularly, doing something quiet. Writing in a journal (with a pen... on paper), waking up a little earlier and having your coffee outside on your porch (not reaching for the smartphone) or taking fifteen minutes every night to do some deep breathing and relaxation. Mediation can be the simple act of siting in a quiet room, focusing on the simple act of breathing and nothing else. We need to get to know the person inside you who does not have a twitter account. The person who wishes and dreams in more than 140 characters. Find out what they need to be happy. It may be that they really want to live a healthier more full filled life and to do that, you must stay true to that one voice.
Man is a universe within himself.
- Bob Marley
